Night time during Day Eight of NaNoWriMo and I’ve got no words. Enthusiasm is waning. I should be ploughing ahead. I like my story, I’ve got a nice lead, yet the doubts are beginning to set in. Some of it is the usual doubts that come every year with Week Two, when the dust of excitement settles and you realize you still have a fuck load to write.
But then there’s the serious voice of reason in my ear, sewing doubts. I feel like the whole world is telling me: “Stop! Writing isn’t meant to be fun! You’re not taking it seriously.” Not exactly like that. I’m kind of overreacting but in an effort to get out all my doubts, I’m going to go with it.
There was a lot of talk on blogs since it started, which I responded to kind of last week, countering the claim that NaNoWriMo is silly and if you really want to be a writer you need to realise it’s a long and boring process, and you have to edit a thousand million times, and it’s not meant to be fun. It’s a job. No fun!
Again, overreacting, and I do know that there is work beyond November. But then a friend tells me that creative writing teachers apparently hate NaNoWriMo because it teaches bad habits (like having fun) and that you end up not finishing your projects, which looking back at my last few novels, is kind of true…but I’m intending to get to it…one day (oh fuck).
There’s truth to what they’re saying, which is why the doubts are setting in, but I can’t help but feel resentful, because I’m having fun writing, like I do each November. And sure I like the competitiveness, writing in ridiculous scenes that probably won’t make it any serious rewrite. And now people are telling me I have to have a life, that I need to take writing seriously and that it’s a long hard slog.
Wet blankets, I say! It seems that all this doubt is only getting in the way of writing, but it does have me thinking how to get the rest of it done beyond November, if I’m going to work on it beyond and how I’m going to make the time. Probably not the things I need to be thinking about now.
Enlighten me dear writers and bloggerati.